(ESV Bible in middle, The Gift For All People by Max Lucado on right, The Radical Question by David Platt on bottom left, Beautiful Girlhood on top left.)
Have you
ever felt, after a week of not digging into God’s word, like you’ve changed in
a way you didn’t want? Well, I have. I feel a void inside of me. One night I
was listening to “Jesus In Disguise,” my favorite song. I use to sing to it all
the time, even when my siblings were asleep; but a scary thing happened, I
didn’t. It may not seem scary to you but I love music, it’s my heart, and to
suddenly NOT sing to it because I don’t feel the urge to is scary. So today I felt led to write this. It’s about what happened to me when I stopped
digging into God’s word. It might happen to you if you do the same. You never
know, I did the wrong thing in thinking I didn’t need God and I paid the price
for it.
So here it is…
The hands
that made cards with scripture now dishonor You, Oh Lord. The mouth that once
spoke truth to others now brings an empty word. The voice that once sang to You
and the hands that once praised You are now a disgrace and leave a hopeless
message. The road I once walked down to get to Music Row, that You, The Lord
almighty, paved, is now lost. I, am lost. I did not wish to be lost like this
but I had to pay a price for falling back in laziness. But now, Lord, I
recognize my mistake, help me out of the pit of ‘giving up’ and set me up to go
on. Bring back the scripture to my heart and plant it like a seed, fill me with
words of meaning and speak through me again. Lift my hands once more to You in
praise and song, let my words praise and please you once again. Help me to find the road to Music Row and
guide my every step again. Oh Lord, I do not wish to be exiled and alone. I
don’t want to go from good to bad, I want to go from good to great in your eyes
alone.
In your
hand, am I steady. In your mouth alone lie the words of Power and Truth. In
your hand alone can you bring me back to the road I once walked on. In your
heart and your heart alone do I find Peace, Love, Joy, and Forever Love. In
you, Oh Lord, do I truly belong. In you, Lord, am I complete. For without you I
am like a sheep without a shepherd, a guitar without a player, a coat that
collects dust and is never worn. With you, oh God, I am guided, I am played,
and I am worn.
Break my
heart for what breaks yours for I do not want to go from good to bad. Search my
heart and find what holds me back, in this life, from pursuing my dreams and
sharing your Word with those who don’t know. Help me be the person you’ve
called me to be, in sight, in speech, in song, in praise, in Love, and in all I
do. You alone can heal my empty heart, fill my void spots, and heal brokenness.
For you are the one TRUE God, perfect in every way. You alone can take away my
pain and guide me in the right direction.
I’m on my knees asking for forgiveness from you. I’m in tears crying out
to you in my brokenness,
“Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why
do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”
– Psalm 10:1
I need to be found. Find
me, then guide me again.
Favorite - Brandon Heath
"Jesus in Disguise"
Others:
Tenth Avenue North “Times”
Third Day “Miracle”
Jason Castro “Only a Mountain”
Sanctus Real “Promises”
